The devil makes them do things . . .

Three reasons why Chicago Bears player Lance Briggs walked away from his crumpled $350G auto at 3 a.m. Aug. 27 on the Edens:

1. He had to go to the bathroom real bad.

2. He had to call his mother to say he was not hurt.

3. He had to call Coach Lovie Smith to say he was not hurt.

These are things Lovie Smith might have said at the news conference where he said Briggs had broken no team rule by having this one accident and rejected any notion of alcohol-related impairment — that which tore it finally for the fired Tank Johnson.

But look, forgiveness abounds. If God forgives in a split second, so can everyone else, because God is perfect and we can do no better than He.

Atlanta football player Michael Vick is sorry for making dogs kill each other and killing dogs himself. He knows how to talk:

“I’m upset with myself, and, you know, through this situation I found Jesus and asked him for forgiveness and turned my life over to God. And I think that’s the right thing to do as of right now.”

We know, Michael. We know. And Internet commentators have hopped on this in an unseemly manner:

* Beth at Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Michael Vick gave a brief statement to the press following a hearing this morning in which he plead guilty to all the crimes he has adamantly denied and claimed were upsetting his mother. . . . . He added at the end of his statement that one good thing had come from this. He had found Jesus [and please don’t take all his money away.]

* Holy Juan has a cartoon, “Michael Vick finds Jesus.”  He’s in the end zone with both hands raised.

* The Brushback.Com has this to say: ATLANTA–In a press conference held yesterday at the Ritz-Carlton in Manhattan, Jesus Christ, savior of mankind, announced he is conceding his throne to the Atlanta Falcons star QB Michael Vick. The ceremonial torch-passing signified the end of Christ’s two thousand-year run and the long-awaited appointment of Vick as the Son of God.

And there is lots more. The question, however, is what would Dietrich Bonhoeffer say?

“Cheap grace is the deadly enemy of our Church. [It] means the justification of sin without the justification of the sinner. Grace alone does everything, they say, and so everything can remain as it was before. . . . ”

This is hard talk. Who can believe it?

More to come on the fascination with Jesus at key moments by indicted celebrities. . . .

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Furthermore . . .

Look at Chicago Daily Observer for thoughts on Father McGuire, the Jesuits, and the latest accuser.

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