Mark Brown offers “man law” contributions a la the beer commercial from “Pittsburgh John,” a friend:

• If it’s not broken, don’t fix it (not just a law, a commandment.)

• If you can’t stretch out all the way, it’s not a couch.

• If you’re not a professional bike rider, don’t wear the shorts.

Etc.  “Let me hear from you,” he tells male readers.  Hmmm.  This is today’s column, Oct. 1.  Smart fella, Brown.  That closing request will be good for another column.  And if he doesn’t hear from anyone, he can go to Lipstick Chronicles for Sept. 22, where Rebecca the Bookseller has a bunch of suggestions from “several men from varying backgrounds and geographic locations,” with helpful commentary:

* Man Law on Food:  Regardless of weather, the grill is always the cooking appliance of first choice.  A Man from the midwest contributes: further, salmon is a fish, and not a color.  And a Navy Man serving overseas reminds us that No Man shall use a utensil of any kind to eat ribs.

Etc.  Such a deal.  Brown has his second column written already.  Rebecca asked for more laws too.  Maybe she and Brown can collaborate.  If this doesn’t work out, he can fish around in REO Horror Story: Man Law – Don’t Let Beer Cans Pile to the Ceiling, also of Sept. 22.  I’ll bet there are other places too.

Fr. Donald McGuire, the Jesuit convicted in Wisconsin on molesting charges, broke probation and is in jail.

Illinois representatives of a support group for those abused by priests were leafleting a Lake Geneva neighborhood with news that McGuire was closer to them than they might have thought.

The jail gave McGuire’s home address as 30 E. Main St., Waukegan. However, according to Wisconsin’s online sex offender registry, McGuire was living at the Lake Geneva Comfort Inn, 300 E. Main St., Lake Geneva.

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Jeff Anderson of St. Paul, Minn., an attorney representing McGuire’s two victims in civil suits against McGuire, said he was informed that McGuire refused to take the periodic lie detector tests required as part of his probation.

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[He had been] sentenced in July to 20 years probation with a seven-year stayed sentence, pending [his] appeal of his conviction.