Stumbled across while looking for something else, with apologies to the late Sidney Harris.  Novelist James McManus to PopMatters:

11. The best piece of advice you actually followed?
“Don’t fuckin’ do it!” delivered by my friend Reid Schaefer as my parents and grandparents were furiously pressuring me to enter a Jesuit seminary at age 14.

Vas ist dis Jesuit seminary taking 14–year-olds?  Never hoid of it.

He did this poker-playing book about Las Vegas.  Non-fiction.  Oh?