Bible is full of hard sayings, but verse 18 here, from Paul to the Colossians chap. 3, is up there with the hardest, here from the official bishops’ page:
The Christian Family. 18* Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord.o 19Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness toward them. 20Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord.p 21Fathers, do not provoke your children, so they may not become discouraged.q
What’s the poor preacher to do?
A, culture differences. We are not first-century middle easterners. We are not 21st-century middle easterners or southeast Asians. In Oak Park and Bryn Mawr-Clark Street areas, I have seen woman walking behind their husbands. Not as a rule, but it happens. The husband and I passed each other first on Catalpa east of Clark, then I passed the wife, whom I expected to be glum and resigned. No. She had the nicest relaxed smile in return for mine. Husband loved her, I speculated, both were content.
Wouldn’t work for most people most of us know. (I have readers in mind.) But seemed to work for her and others I have seen in Oak Park.
B, the form that husbands’ love takes. In our time and place, it includes respect and mutuality and spirit of cooperation. Bingo. Respect, etc. took shapes that both were used to. He was to be kind to her in expected manner.
C, As for children obeying and fathers (and mothers, we add) not provoking their children, we require no explanation at this point — in a homily, that is. People will get it, that is.
The clincher is that (a) culture matters and (b) husbands’ love, or treating their wives lovingly, as Knox has it, is the key to discovering that pearl of great price, domestic tranquility.
Blithe Spirit 