. . . and his disappointment at God’s answer to his prayers:

. . . he had desired to be received into a monastery, thinking that he would there be made to smart for his awkwardness and the faults he should commit, and so he should sacrifice to GOD his life, with its pleasures: but . . . GOD had disappointed him, he having met with nothing but satisfaction in that state.

Too bad, Brother L. But consider your book, The Practice of the Presence of God, and the good things it can do for us. Gotta read that book . . .