Once, the idea was the independent, self-reliant child.

Nearly 30 years ago, sociologist Robert Bellah and his team of co-authors in Habits of the Heart (1985) described the American parenting ideal as the production of independent children who “leave home,” both figuratively and literally. To never leave home, they wrote, violated the cardinal American virtue of self-reliance, contradicting self-understandings that individuals should “earn everything we get, accept no handouts or gifts, and free ourselves from our families of origin.” The essence of parenting was preparing children for just such a separation, reflecting the American belief that a meaningful life could be had only by breaking free from family and giving birth, in a sense, to oneself. “However painful the process of leaving home, for parents and for children, the really frightening thing for both would be the prospect of the child never leaving home.” Successful launching was the quest, and the empty nest, even though it required adjustment, the reward. If these were the habits of the parenting heart in the 1980s, American parents clearly have had a change of heart.

Now it’s different, we gather from the Culture of American Families Survey, conducted by the Institute for Advanced Studies in Culture.

Two-thirds of American parents of school-age children now say they would “willingly support a 25-year-old child financially” if needed. Two-thirds say they would encourage a 25-year-old to move back home if he or she had difficulty affording housing. Parents still hope, of course, that their adult children will attain financial independence, but this aspiration is no stronger than the hope that children will retain “close ties with parents and family”—both are considered “essential” by about half of American parents. The quest for long-term connection with children has taken central stage. Parenting is still about formation, but its overriding concern has pivoted from formation to connection. One has only to consider parents’ responses to the statement “I hope to be best friends with my children when they are grown” to know something new is happening at home. Almost three-quarters of today’s parents of school-age children (72 percent) agree that they eventually want to be their children’s best friends; only 17 percent disagree. The successful formation and launching of children still matters; it is just that parents don’t want to launch them very far.

You don’t stop being a mother and a father, in other words.

more more more here at this U. of Virginia-based publication.

I’m going to ask for this book for Christmas.

I read about this years ago in Georgie Anne Geyer’s excellent book about Castro:

Rather like Ahab and the white whale, the city of Atlanta has been obsessed with running street vendors out of business. Back in 2009, Atlanta handed over all street vending to a multi-billion-dollar corporation. With a city-backed monopoly, rent skyrocketed from $250 a year to almost $20,000 a year. Unable to afford these exorbitant rents, 16 vendors lost their jobs.

I mean I read about how Fidel did the same thing. He had to throttle initiative, which was to remain with him.

Nice going, city of Atlanta.

Oh yes, the book is Guerilla Prince, The Untold Story of Fidel Castro, published in 1991. As with many good books, you can buy it now for a song.

They tested and tested and tested, but the thing still wouldn’t work.

“It was unequivocally clear from testing this wasn’t ready,” was the conclusion forwarded to HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius… who serenely ignored these desperate warnings and launched anyway. And worse, the head of CMS said the site’s issues “did not show up in testing” during testimony on Tuesday.

Gross incompetents or colossal liars, take your pick.

John Stuart Mill said it:

. . . whether it professes to be enforcing the will of God or the injunctions of men.”

Which, modified, not obliterated, by Christian kindness is a pretty good rule, with multiple applications in civic, political, and church life.

Had a robo-call last night from Sen. Don Harmon, who’s hosting a town hall meeting tonight at Brooks middle school, 325 S. Kenilworth, about “reconstruction” of the Eisenhower X-way and how it affects Oak Park.

I had already planned to be there. Harmon is wise to push this session on a very hot issue. He works hard at his job and makes a good impression.

The meeting is also a way for him to talk about something besides pension reform, which many say is in crisis mode, but not he. Nor senate president John Cullerton.

In July the Wed. Journal was not convinced:

We’d say that a state regularly facing downgrades on its debt is in crisis. A state that can’t pay its bills to social service providers in a timely way is in crisis. A state that raises income taxes by $6 billion annually and is just barely keeping pace with added pension demands is in crisis. A state controlled on all levels by a single political party that still can’t pass pension reform is in crisis.

Whatever. No robo-call from me, but I am glad to help our senator and urge you to come to Brooks. 7:30.

Sincerely!

With lots of good examples. Writer cites Strunk & White.