Headlines can be fun:
* ChiTrib’s front page headline for a story about a lost and found three-year-old is about “Panic.” What’s it doing now? “Turns into joy, relief,” says hard copy headline. This answers a question in the minds of many, “What’s Panic been up to lately?”
* Trib again, next to this: “Bernanke grabs reins on economy.” Up to his old horse-riding tricks.
* More Trib, still p-1: about “Russia’s toxic rivers.” What’s new with them? I’ve been wondering. They are “running out of time.” Like the drinkers in T.S. Eliot’s bar, hearing, “HURRY UP PLEASE IT’S TIME.”
Same story, sub-head: “Mother Volga . . . oozes sickly to the sea.” Not a good thing to ooze sickly. Nothing this father wants to do, nor any mother of his acquaintance. Get well soon, Mrs. Volga.
* Sun-Times also pleases. Mary Mitchell says “Taste” shooting “not new” to residents of “black and brown” neighborhoods where gangs prevail. She missed this year’s Taste, hasn’t been to one since her kids “nearly drowned in a sea of people . . . streaming out of Grant Park.” Not oozing, notice.
This time, “young thugs . . . streamed into the Loop [again!], bringing their gang signs and armed bravado with them.”
“Some Chicagoans” know all about these “urban terrorists” — and she has that right, which looks like a leaf from Dennis Byrne’s book.
What to do? Would have been “a riot” if cops had moved in aggressively, as Daley said, she says. Her answer: more cops in the neighborhoods. Doing what? (Byrne: Call out the National Guard.)
* Meanwhile, Supt. Weis merits p-1 S-T treatment for maybe dropping the Taste ball. “Rookie mistakes?” asks banner. “Were police unprepared?” asks p. 5 story, where the failure to round up the bad guys is attributed to lack of enough squadrols rather than fearing a riot.
Low in this story is the killer statistic that murder is up 13% “under Weis’s watch . . . over the first six months of the year.” Yes, even with the city’s gun-control laws.
* Finally, laugh with us here at Blithe Spirit at Steve Rhodes’s riff on insurance magnate Pat Ryan’s “doubts violence will affect 2016 [Olympic] bid,” Ryan being in charge of that process.
Rhodes looks into the future and sees these key developments:
* “Olympic Boss Doubts Today’s Congestion on the Kennedy Will Affect 2016 Bid.”
* “Olympic Boss Doubts Cubs Loss Will Affect 2016 Bid.”
* “Olympic Boss Doubts Failure of CHA Will Affect 2016 Bid.”
* “Olympic Boss Doubts Fewer Starbucks’ Will Affect 2016 Bid.”
* “Olympic Boss Doubts Lame Hometown Cheerleading Press Will Affect 2016 Bid.”
Er, wait a second . . .
Later, he adds:
“Olympic Boss Doesn’t Think Jailed Governors Will Affect 2016 Bid.”
And yet later:
Comedy Gold
“Police: Suspect Tried To Rob Bar With Cheese Grater.”
Local Reaction
“Olympic Boss Doesn’t Think Cheese Grater Robbery Will Affect 2016 Bid.”
With Olympic bosses like this, we can move mountains.
Blithe Spirit 