The very important, maybe irreplaceable Fran Spielman has the p-one Sun-Times story of the plumbing inspector who don’t want no trouble with permit-givers.

Sources said the $85,068-a-year inspector was working a side job installing a flood-control system in the 3500 block of North Octavia — with no permit and none of the required city licenses — when he inadvertently broke the water pipe leading to the home.

He (gulp) called the city for help, told leak-investigators he was an inspector, asked for free parts to repair the leak (!!**##%%!!), got turned in by a whistle-blower of note who happened to answer his call. got cited for doing work without a permit — “two or three different licenses” were needed, says the w-blower — and had to stop work on his project.

But wait.  This guy knows what it takes to get a permit, and if he doesn’t, he can go to Chicago’s long-overdue Department of Zoning Oversight Fellowship Forum (DOZ-OFF), where PDB, “the Intern Architect,” tells a story of waiting in line at the zoning department and being “handed poop in a bag.”

[A]n entry-level architect brings an interior renovation project to Chicago’s Department of Zoning at 8:15 a.m. . . . hoping to start the . . . process of obtaining a building permit from behind the city’s fortress of ordinances. 

He has . . . arrived before the office’s official opening at 8:30am, but is turned away at the gate.  The list is full; the waiting room is full.  The city’s (4) plan reviewers already have permit-seekers at their desks, studying plans and applications for the unallowable build, the unchecked use, and the unregistered driveway.  He must come back tomorrow; 6:30am is recomended. 

Uncommonly crowded?  No, the same as yesterday.  The same as everyday.

There’s more more more where that came from, at that Zoning Fellowship Forum.