Confessions of an American Bead Counter – Crisis Magazine

This fellow gives a brief history of drug abuse and confessions of addicts from DeQuincy to Baudelaire and beyond, then gives his horrifying account of his own addiction:

To the best of my increasingly fallible memory, it started with small indulgences—dabblings—such as the sign of the cross and the Jesus prayer. A mild and tentative usage of something powerful, as De Quincy discovered, can prove a gateway.

Pretty soon I caught myself saying Ave Marias and Pater Nosters. There were other steps along the road, but, after some time, I was fumbling the beads once a month and then weekly. Pretty soon, the rosary became a daily habit. I felt restive without it.

I even prayed while driving. It’s not yet a felony, but I dread to think how many PWDs the traffic cams have been recorded. [!] When, as sometimes happened after a hectic day, I fell asleep without…